From NICU to Stringbean

Happy Fourth Birthday

Today we celebrate the 4th birthday of our youngest daughter. 

It’s been a whirlwind ride, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. 

We decided we wanted to have a second child (we didn’t really make that call on the first) and found out my wife was pregnant shortly before the COVID pandemic broke out stateside and everything shut down. 

We had plans of delivering at home via midwife, as my wife did with our first, and this was something that seemed especially crucial with the uncertainty of the pandemic still in its infancy. We used the same midwife – she had recently gone mobile, which made things even easier – and everything seemed to be lining up. Lining up, in fact, for the fourth September birthday in the family. 

But, things took a sudden twist about 7 weeks before we reached the expected due date, as our daughter decided to come early. This meant we were outside the safe window where a midwife was able to deliver and we had to rush to the emergency room. We quickly ran down to the car (we lived on the second story at the time) and before we made it too far, made the decision that we needed to call an ambulance to get everyone there safer and faster. 

What ensued was something along the lines of a midtown high-speed chase, with me in our old SUV at the time, following the ambulance through traffic, red lights, and stop signs. I still don’t know to this day if that maneuvering was legal, but I have a feeling that when the ambulance stopped a few blocks from the hospital and one of the EMTs got out and yelled at me that I couldn’t tail them that I should be a law-abiding citizen the rest of the way. But, hey, desperate times call for desperate measures. 

If you tried to visit anyone in the hospital during the pandemic, you know the hoops you had to jump through to try to get in the room with your loved ones, if you could at all. Trying to tell a pregnant woman that her husband couldn’t be in the room with her when delivering, though? That probably wasn’t the safest move on their part. After some lively conversations, they allowed me in the room with wife, baby, and team.

During these moments, you never really know what to expect. Is everyone going to make it out ok? Are they going to be healthy? Why is the baby coming early?

Fortunately, for us, everyone did make it out ok, with our youngest coming in the range of about 4 lbs, but being so small and such an early arrival prompted an emergency transport to the NICU about 45 minutes on the other side of town. She was placed in a large transport device before any of us could hold her or even say hi. And, since my wife just delivered, they naturally made us stay in that hospital, separated from our newborn, for at least that evening. The next day felt like trying to break out of Alcatraz as they kept coming up with reasons for us to stay longer before being released. 

Those next almost two months were a long and emotionally draining journey, especially for mom. We had to make the drive to and from the hospital every day during that time and, obviously, with the state of lockdowns, no one else could visit with us.

We saw plenty of babies come and go during that time, and others who would stay much longer, including neighboring little ones who came in around 1 or 2 lbs. Everyone has a different journey, and it was a lesson in patience, gratitude, and understanding navigating all of that and not wishing for a different outcome. 

During that process, it seemed like we would see periods of rapid progress, times of regression, and confusing readings as to what was going on and what’s going to come next. The heartwarming moments were when she seemingly recognized and knew momma, even when her face was covered and she wasn’t long out of the womb. The frustrating ones were when all the boxes were checked to go home and one little blip kept cropping up right when we were ready to lift off the runway that left us grounded for a few more days. Such is life, and a microcosm of parenting as a whole. Plenty of frustration but enough heartwarming and loving moments to make it all worth it. 

The biggest one may have been when we brought her home and opened the door to big sis who let out an audible gasp of excitement at finally getting to meet her little sister. Moments you can’t create or make up, even if you tried. 

Sometimes during those moments, we wondered where the road was going to take us, but one thing we knew for sure – as they say, NICU babies are a different kind of fighter. The ups and downs someone that little has to go through and climb over to just get out of the womb and the hospital are probably much more challenging than we can really comprehend. With that comes a little girl who is loving and fearlessly crazy, just breaths apart. Here’s to a wild and crazy year ahead with a 4-year-old.